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Why is getting angry at others, particularly those people who players are close to like their support team, so common?

In my latest 'Mental Toughness Made Simple' video I use Nick Kyrgios as a case study to help understand why players so commonly get addicted to this habit. I also discuss the 4 Step process that breaking the addiction almost always requires. 

Interestingly, the reason players develop this habit can be the same reason that they give up, use excuses, or even lose concentration so if any of these issues sound familiar to you this video really is a must watch. The great news for Kyrgios is that on the evidence so far this Aussie Open, with the support of his team he appears to be finally making steady progress in improving all of these issues... 

While I’ve written about Kyrgios’s issues a couple of times in the past I’ve never before received so many communications asking for my opinion as on his performance last night against Andreas Seppi.

So here it goes…

Essentially, the way I saw it, Kyrgios tried for 2 and a half sets…Didn’t try for the next set and a half… Then see-sawed between trying and not trying in the 5^th.

First, lets clarify the possible reasons players don’t try…There are only 3:

1.) Lack of motivation

We most commonly blame a lack of effort on poor motivation. While this is sometimes the case, more often than not I’ve found that what I first thought was a motivational issue, turned out to be a result of other issues.

2.) Caught in Helplessness

A more common reason players give up is that they become caught up in the internal experience of helplessness.

Throughout evolution it has increased the chance of human survival to be able...

When players act angrily, to overcome it they usually need to first understand why they are acting that way. At first sight, we might assume that the anger comes from the frustration of not meeting performance expectations, or from being wronged (such as being cheated), and this can be the case. But there may be other reasons for player anger.

Let’s first look at 3 reasons players might act angrily during a match:

1.) Caught Up in Frustration

A common reason players become angry is that they become caught up in the internal experience of frustration.

For instance, if a player performs an action that doesn’t move them towards victory they may experience the thought, “That’s not good enough.” Similarly, when a player’s opponent makes an unbelievable play or if the umpire makes a bad call that moves them away from winning they might naturally experience the thought, “That’s not fair,” which will also evoke...

At first watch, Andy Murray’s superb dismantling of Milos Raonic in the Wimbledon final may have looked like a simple case of too much speed, too much craft, and too much defence for the big Canadian…Together, this combination certainly played a major role in Murray claiming his 2nd Wimbledon title…Slowly but surely building pressure that took its toll in the form of incredible Murray returning and passing + uncharacteristic Raonic errors (especially in the tie-breaks which he often dominates.)

But behind this storyline lay a subtle sub-plot directed by Ivan Lendl…

Throughout his career Murray’s biggest achilles heel, along with his second serve, has been an addiction to self/support team abuse.

While I explained my opinion of this process in great detail when describing Murray’s mental capitulation against Djokovic in last year’s Australian Open final, I will review briefly again here before discussing how Murray’s...

Despite Nick Kyrgios' awe-inspiring talent and unwavering self-belief…It appears clear that significant psychological hurdles stand between him and the fulfilling of his immense potential.

For example:

The loss of concentration during some matches…

Frequent intense anger…

His verbal abuse of others…

His occasional lack of effort…

Here's my take on why I think at least in part, Kyrgios' has developed an addiction to behaviours that serve to reduce fear/anxiety common to competing.

The 5 Behaviors…

1.) Appearing to Lose Concentration

Players can reduce difficult internal experiences without realizing to distract themselves away from the task at hand.

When we experience difficult predictions or judgments to do with competition outcomes, or difficult feelings and physical sensations to do with those thoughts such as anxiety, we may automatically shift our attention on to something else to avoid those difficult experiences.

This...